My great grandmother died as a child.
She was 96.
She was never married.
She was handpicked by the local Brahmin ( Namboodiri) to have a “sambandham” ( relationship).
He was 64. She was 19.
She didn’t have a choice. It didn’t last. Not much beyond a year. He slipped out literally leaving her holding the baby. And as she was way too young to handle a child she handed him – my grandfather – to the assorted aunts who lived in the communal home. Without responsibility, she never needed to “grow up”. Instead, she devoted almost all her waking hours to her only lover- Krishna. Our childhood days in the ancestral home were filled with sounds of her singing, flirting, quarrelling with the love of her life in the little “temple room” adorned with Krishna’s photos and statues in all his incarnations.
Compared to boring sanctimonious Ram, this guy was colourful! I loved him!
He had 16,000 or 16,100 (?!) “junior wives” – mythical historians seem unable to agree on the number, but give or take a 100, he seemed to have pleasantly manged 15,999 more wives that ordinary mortals were made capable of. Quite a guy. Respect.
His singular achievement, however, was a tad more serious. Unlike my great grandmother Krishna did grow up, and, as a thinking adult he authored perhaps the best self help book of all time- The Bhagvat Gita.
This book has given me comfort and perspective, at many points in my life. Although, I have to admit that I have not, so far in my life, had to endure anything close to Arjunas existential angst and dilemmas.
Songs devoted to Krishna are specially endearing to me as they remind me of the innocence of my childhood and the good times spent with my fun loving great grandmother.
” Krishna, my dear, please come to me, bless me with a glance of your face…”
Despite almost 70 years of entreaties ,my great grandmother never manged to make the lord appear before her, but after watching this magnificent rendition by T.M Krishna I think even the lord, his namesake, will be moved to make an appearance before us one day.
“O Krishna, do you ever think of me? Do you ever remember me? Alas, I adore even your forgetfulness, O Krishna…To hell with this dratted marriage I was better off being single! Why did I run about after you”
This terrific endearment to Krishna , by Muslim Qawwali singers from Pakistan no less, was the main theme of my great grandmother laments in her futile entreaties to her lover in that little temple room.
This is the best tease of my married life – if you haven’t sung Govind, what have you lived for ?
“In this song Mukhtiyar Ali strikes an achingly beautiful note in the voice of Kabir, urging us to take stock of our lives and reflect on what we’ve truly earned in all this time spent on earth, if we haven’t sung the name of Govind, if we haven’t cultivated mindfulness.
The song poses this poignant question. What is our real earning? What is our real wealth?”
